If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
