The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
