it was like eating out sand paper
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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