hotel room ftw
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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