sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
