On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
