You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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