I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
