So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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