I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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