dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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