ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Come share oat with me in your robe
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
