the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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