NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
