Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize