I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We need a shit load of segways right now
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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