I feel like abortions should bother me more
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
