this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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