I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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