yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I would fuck him just for his dog
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
