You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
