Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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