I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
