But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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