How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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