There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
