Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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