turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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