we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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