how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
