I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i need some magic done to my vagina
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
