What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
