just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
