I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
