When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
