North Korea, Best Korea!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
