I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
