I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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