double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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