He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So apparently I’m into choking now
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