If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
