I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
