The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
