you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
