I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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