So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he fucked my hip out of place.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
