Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
