Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
