and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
