It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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