the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
