all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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