yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
we're so committed to being not committed
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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