I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
