Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
