Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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