Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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