a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
we should paint friendship bongs
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