if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
