I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
