i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
