just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
