what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We're not piercing ourselves today.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
