wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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