you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i've created a new STD.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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