i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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